Bill Clinton famously nominated two fetching (and accomplished) women to be Attorney General before Janet Reno became his successful nominee. Both nominees, Zoe Baird and Kimba Wood, were brought down by nanny stories. Kimba Wood, still on the U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York, made news last week by her reply to a lawyer asking to be excused from court if and when his pregnant daughter's baby turns out to be a boy. Enjoy.
The request:
Dear Judge Wood:
I represent Mark Barnett in the above matter, which is scheduled for trial beginning November 29th.
Please consider this letter as an application in limine for a brief recess in the middle of trial on the grounds known (perhaps not now, but hereafter) as a “writ of possible simcha1]”.
The facts are as follows: My beautiful daughter, Eva, married and with a doctorate no less, and her husband, Ira Greenberg ( we like him, too) live in Philadelphia and are expecting their first child on December 3rd, tfu tfu tfu [2] They do not know whether it will be a boy or a girl, although from the oval shape of Eva’s tummy, many of the friends and family are betting male (which I think is a mere bubbameiseh[3] but secretly hope is true).
Should the child be a girl, not much will happen in the way of public celebration. Some may even be disappointed, but will do their best to conceal this by saying, “as long as it’s a healthy baby”. My wife will run to Philly immediately, but I will probably be able [to] wait until the next weekend. There will be happiness, though muted, and this application will be mooted as well.
However, should baby be a boy, then hoo hah[4]! Hordes of friends and family will arrive from around the globe and descend on Philadelphia for the joyous celebration mandated by the halacha [5] to take place during the daylight hours on the eighth day, known as the bris[6] The eighth day after December 3rd could be right in the middle of the trial. My presence at the bris is not strictly commanded, although my absence will never be forgotten by those that matter.
So please consider this an application for maybe, tfu tfu tfu, a day off during the trial, if the foregoing occurs on a weekday. I will let the Court (and the rest of the world) know as soon as I do, and promise to bring pictures.
Very truly yours,
Bennett M. Epstein
[1] Yiddish (and Hebrew) for “celebration of a happy event”.
[2] Another Yiddishism, found in other cultures as well, that requires we spit to ward off the “evil eye” when discussing an upcoming shimcha.
[3] As you may have already guessed, Yiddish for “old wive’s tale”. A “mere bubbameiseh” is somewhat less reliable.
[4] Yiddish for “a big fuss”.
[5] Jewish law (citation omitted).
[6] Hebrew for “covenant”, for the Covenant of Abraham, i.e. ritual circumcision, joyous to everyone except, apparently, the baby.
Judge Kimba's response:
Reader, SBM is curious. Do you find the supplicant's letter to be charming? Or, is it unfortunate evidence for a future granddaughter, who may very well be splendidly cherished by her zayde, to conclude that she would have brought even greater joy to him if she had been a boy? Or is it both?
Update: Some commenters in the blogosphere have suggested that Judge Wood's response disrespected Jewish tradition; others questioned the double standard of asking for the day off only for a the birth of a grandson. The grandparent-in-waiting, however, was delighted with the judge's response, and as for the double standard charge? “Look," he said, "the Jewish religion is sexist. It just is. But I didn’t make the rules!” To which a reader-Rabbi pointed out:
Would that lawyer Epstein should know that Jewish tradition revels in the birth of a girl, and a festive celebratory meal, known as a “kiddush”— meal of sanctification– is held the Sabbath after a girl’s birth, usually in synagogue after the morning services. If the mom is too weak to attend then, it may be pushed off, til she can share in the joyous occasion, too. Sorry, no such meal is held for a the birth of a boy. Reverse discrimination? I think not.
HT: Jeff Goldberg, The Atlantic, WSJ Law Blog
Update: The grandchild was a boy.
